Doing my bit
I’ve done my bit to help raise drugs awareness.
It’s a demonstration of how an animation can be accomplished using a single frame. It’s so awesome I can barely contain my own fluids.
All sarcasm intended.
Posted by: Joe Davison 
Category: 
Talking: A Dream
Admittedly, I have a nervous problem in serious conversations with unfamiliar people or when the conversation is deep or some such. I had such an experience today. I move around a lot, tighten my shoulders, wobble my head. I’ve also seen plenty of David Byrne interviews, and he has very much the same problem. Hell, I often think I’m watching myself talk.
One dream I had, I was talking to two patronising girls. I can’t discern what the hell they were saying, but I was moving and jigging around so much I wouldn’t know who the girls were representing if I hadn’t heard their voices.
They said “He can’t keep still” and then I woke up.
In spite of everything you’ve done for them, eventually they will hate you
It seems to me that the Green Goblin accurately prophesied the fall of the Spider-Man movie franchise. Sure enough, the first two movies were something special. Spider-Man was the first “big” movie I ever saw in the cinema (before the Lord of the Rings) and both me and my dad wept at how stunning it was. This was, after all, 2001 and seeing Spider-Man on the silver screen like that was simply astonishing. We didn’t cry like that again until we saw the ending of the Return of the King; it was the most amazing experience we had ever had in the cinema. I mean, you never had that kind of CGI or quality in costuming before. Spider-Man really made the second millennium look so promising.
And so it is, movies now are so technologically amazing that you can feel like you’re truly experiencing them. I even heard that people who have watched Avatar are suffering from depression since they can’t comprehend the fact that Pandora isn’t a real place. Maybe film technology needs to slow down. Looking at great hey-day films like Hudson Hawk, Ghostbusters, Rush Hour; they hardly used any high-tech computer shit. The 90s / 80s didn’t give a fuck about whether or not they managed to include the latest in CGI innovation. I mean, sure, Ghostbusters relied on that kind of thing, but it was all necessary for that film.
Maybe, just maybe, Spider-Man was the film that kicked all of this off. That movie was so high budget it could have saved Zimbabwe from economic collapse! And watching it today, I realise the movie actually has very little value to it at all. While it introduces a new audience to the Spider-Man universe, it strays way too far from the comics and doesn’t really have a viable plot to it. Osborne’s insanity is, in itself, merely an excuse to get away from the world dominating villain. Were the comics much different? I haven’t read enough of them to comment as such.
I recently saw 2012. Iwanted a good laugh which I didn’t really get. 2012, while completely in-credible in its story, didn’t follow closely enough to the stupid legends for me to get enough kick. In fact I think I enjoyed it. Maybe it was S’s company, maybe it was the fat Russian. Whatever it was, it was not the story.
2012 follows the “failed father” cliché, where Mr Divorced Dad is trying to get closer to his estranged children whilst making the Stepfather seem like the devil. Now, how the fuck does this make a good end-of-the-world story? Just what the hell were the writers thinking? Were they even thinking at all? That said, to have the world end around you, you can’t really have a good story. You can have the setting sure enough, but there’s not really much room for a plot unless your characters are going to try and stop the Rapture; no. Mr Failure is not going to stop it, he’s just going to get caught up in a conspiracy and make the tough decision of whether or not he should get burned to death with a crazy pothead or try to get back together with his wife. There’s just no value to this at all.
So with this creative failure eminating from Hollywood, they’re doing new things. New, old things. Remakes. There have been more remakes than originals in the last few years and I can safely say they all suck. No movie should be remade, especially old classics like The Day the Earth Stood Still. Those are special. Those are art. I don’t think a painter has ever “remade” Picasso and made a fortune, or “remade” the Mona Lisa; sure, there have been imitations, but remakes are not imitations. They are, as the name implies, remakes. Identical re-adaptions of the originals and they are ridiculous. 2010’s line-up of movies includes sequels, remakes and westernisations. All with big, meaty, ostentatious advertising campaigns.
That’s another point: Advertising. Movie advertising is more prominent in movies which distributor’s think will fail commercially without appropriate hyperbole. Teasers help get the word out that a movie is coming (Bob sees a Teaser for the Avengers and tells Sandy that it’s on the way, Sandy is a big Avengers geek) and then theatrical trailers introduce dark tension with that familliar barotone voice: “IN A WORLD WHERE DREAMS ARE POSSIBLE”. They show you, almost literally, all the good bits and a bit of sex if there is any (I’ve only seen one movie where sex has anything to do with anything: Watchmen) so that you instantly think that the movie looks like it will be the biggest thrill of your life. And it simply won’t be. The entire trailer was hyperbole. For 2012 you only have to watch the trailer, since everything is revealed there before you see the movie.
Movies which don’t spend a great deal on advertising until about two weeks or so before it’s due for release are the ones which are generally the most enthralling. Movies with no advertising at all, except a website and some posters, will probably be the most incredible thing you have ever seen in your entire life. I haven’t seen it yet, but “Moon” by Duncan Jones is probably a good example of this. I had never heard of it until Martin Mulrooney reviewed it at AltMag and just reading his review has whet my appetite, and yet, I have seen no trailers, no posters; hell, I don’t think this movie even had a marketing campaign.
I will advise everyone to watch Fritz Lang’s Metropolis to learn what a movie should be.
One True Phobia: A Dream
This is my first eventful dream of the year, and it outlines the one thing I am most afraid of.
I lived further away from school than I do now, to the point where I must cycle there. I rode the bike so perfectly; obeying the rules of the road so dilligently. Drivers gave me appropriate leeway. I was the king of the cycling world!
I parked my bike outside the gate and let out a groan “I forgot me bloody key!”. I couldn’t lock it up. I went straight into class (for some reason I had no shirt on at this point) and I positioned myself in a spot where I could keep an eye on my lovely bicycle. Strangely, my mother was in the classroom. I asked her if she could go home and fetch my key, she refused. I spent the next few seconds arguing (cynically) and then looked down where the bike was and said “Oh great; it’s gone now”.
I ran out of the gate and gave chase to two cyclists, a woman on (presumably) her own bike and a man on mine. I ran ever so fast, letting out a warcry as I went. At this point my shirt had returned.
I chased them to a house (theirs?) and noticed a pile of junk outside. I knocked the door, the woman answered, and I demanded my bike’s return. She agreed. As I stomped into the house to claim it she stopped me and looked utterly confused “What are you walking away from me for?”. Somehow I managed to figure out that this meant the bike was in the junk pile and I heaved it out, and politely said goodbye to the woman.
I am writing a game
With the working title “All Alone”.
All Alone will deal with the tender subject of isolationism as 6 adventurers find themselves completely and totally on their own. The intrepid team have not seen a single soul except for each other.
All Alone will be made using the AGS Game Engine, thus following the Adventure Game genre utilising Gilbert’s Law; a story driven puzzler with no way of dying or running into a dead end.
I like to think of this project as “The Dig meets The Sixth Sense”, people trapped far away and completely alone, whilst concealing a deep secret.
I don’t know what kind of model All Alone will follow; it may be episodic, or it might not be. We’ll have to wait and see.
I am looking for artists and voice actors, by the way.
2009: A Year in Review
I can say without a shadow of a doubt that 2009 was good. These last few months were especially fantastic. I wouldn’t normally make a post like this since a “new year” doesn’t really mean much to me other than a “new year”, but it’s a pretty good opportunity to consolidate my thoughts on the year; both in my head and in writing.
But I can’t help but shake off the strangest of all phenomenons. This is something I didn’t even think was possible, especially when it first began. I certainly knew it could happen once, maybe once in a while, but twice in a year? I fell in love. Twice. It also seems incredibly strange to me now that I can think to the exact moment in which “it happened”; for both instances.
To think of that now, it seems impossibly strange that I, someone who (or at least believes he does) has an astronomically strong mental structure could succumb to the most primal of all emotions twice within the space of just a few months.
Only once did I manage to actually inform the other, and I spent much of the time afterwards wishing that I hadn’t.
The first half of the year, I must admit, was not satisfactory. I broke my ankle (resulting in this year feeling like 12) during which time I was attacked. It came slowly, swiftly and efficiently. But he never stopped. He still hasn’t. I hope he knows who he is and that he knows that I defy him. I cast you out of my life forever.
Shortly after the travesty, the greatest two weeks of my life: Work Experience. I simply cannot describe in words just how amazing it was. I feel incredibly lucky that I met J; she is a wonderful person – such a fantastic character, such a joy to have worked with. I don’t think we’ll ever meet again, such an occurrence seems distant and unrealistic at this point. But the fact that I survived Camp Dean tells me that nothing is impossible.
Roll on the summer holidays. Summer holidays are for me drastically boring. I’m usually the last person anyone would consider inviting out with them so I usually just go on regular bike rides during this period. Now: there’s a problem. I didn’t have a bike. I was, therefore, so intolerably bored. More so than when I was housebound with my ankle. Then I had one of the greatest camps ever. The 8th Celebrated its 100th year with a fantastic camp, and the last one that Dave would plan for us. That camp will stick with me for a long time to come (especially since I can pinpoint the odd sensation of “falling” to this week).
After that camp, well, everything was just wonderful.
“The 8th Alumni” is the name I privately give to our “group” who left the 8th together and went to Explorers together. We made the agreement to get working on a camp straight after the centenary. And we succeeded. It’s now an annual tradition! There could be almost 3 of these camps every year.
I consider the first “Dean Camp” as a test. It was the best 4 days of the year, true enough, but it was a test. And the results show that we need less chaos. The task of organising the entire thing has been shifted to two of us.
I ended the year with two things: a handshake, and the completion of Doom 3. I privately announced that I was leaving my Explorer group to its Leader; away from the others. It was my plan all along. What I didn’t expect was the traditional Scout left-handed handshake. That meant a lot of things but I don’t know what they were. I just left the building feeling a mixture of odd sensations that I guess I can describe as guilt and doubt. That handshake just made me think.
Then I completed Doom 3 and felt quite satisfied.
2010 is terrifying. I am truly frightened. I’m leaving school this year. This is the scariest (progressive) thing I’ve ever experienced. My fears exist because I’m unsure of what I want to do afterwards. Maybe this year I’ll enrol at HMS Dolphin. Follow in the footsteps of my dad in the walk he never completed; maybe I’ll do it for him?
An update:
I have forgotten to mention Tales of Monkey Island. ToMI has been a fantastic season, and I can’t wait for my Collector’s DVD to arrive. I must mention my new position as an Author over at Hardydev.com which has helped me to realise my literary potential somewhat. Since I started writing there, I’ve realised that I do have the capacity to be a writer. And even if I do join the Navy this year, I promise to come out with a completed novel. Thanks to Igor Hardy for offering me a position on the site.
“I just finished Sam and Max Season One… It was awesome.”
“Maybe you’d like to review it for Hardydev.”
I’ve got a bike; you can ride it if you like
Click, chink, snap, thud. A letterbox-sized parcel had come through the door adorned in Amazon’s own.
Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens
Words by the great David Byrne.
Although, quite bizarrely, Heaven is not a place where nothing happens.
“Heaven” is (or was) a gay bar in London owned by Richard Branson. The theory is that this is what the song is about. It’s quite strange when you think about it, since Byrne is neither gay nor religious (he is recently divorced with a daughter and claims Atheism).
The song cannot possibly be about the Christian Heaven, since calling it a “bar” that “everyone is trying to get to” would be an unfair metaphor. Especially in the 70s.
So it’s odd to think about. Just what is “Heaven”? Why does nothing happen there? Are gay men boring or something? Who knows? I’m not even sure DB knows. He is, after all, a New Wave song writer.
I’m Innocent! – A Dream
In my dream last night, I was in a distorted room which consisted of a mish mash of different familiar features in many of my school’s classrooms. Prominently, the tables in which we sat were of the Science rooms, with the same chairs too.
I sat down and looked immediately at the floor with a glum expression on my face; resting my chin on my crossed arms which lay flat on the table.
Entering the room were the familiar, awkward figures of Ring and Northard who sat down in the row in front of me. A complete, pitch-for-pitch replica of Northard’s voice sounded “All he does these days is look at the floor” to which I replied “I know. It’s because I’m innocent.” Following this encounter, Ring snorted and laughed.
Then I awoke, this time to a screaming chest instead of a shrieking alarm clock.
A* Grade Facebookery
All my total BFFs are on Facebook. So I followed suit, eventually.
One of my favourite pastimes is just confusing the hell out of my peers with some literary genius.
